It Seems Like Years Since It's Been Clear

I grew up.
I don't know quite when it happened, but, apparently, I'm an adult.
I'm talking about clothes, of course. When we had my house painted a million years ago I moved a lot of clothes out of my room and into my second house, with the intention of bringing them back in once all the house-fixing-up-ing was finished. I never did. I realized yesterday that a closet full of jeans was sitting over there waiting patiently for me to remember them. Of course, it's been a very long time since I last wore any of them, and I, apparently, have changed since I stuck them in there.
I mean that my body changed. Somehow, I stopped having a "juniors" body and started having a "petite" body. I no longer fit into the slinky size sevens or even the looser size nines. The weight on my thighs is in different places than it used to be, on the sides instead of the back. And I guess my stomach's changed shape too, because many of the jeans that I could fit over my thighs ended up not fitting my waist (whereas many that fit my waist made my thighs feel like sausages.)
Lately I've been on a mission to find my real size. If sevens and nines were too small, I fretted, was I just fat? Was I becoming a huge and unsightly blob without realizing it?
And then I went to Old Navy and bough a pair of size eight jeans.
Odd numbers = Juniors and Even numbers = Women's.
And at first, my new size eight classic fit (read: not low rise) short-cut (because I am tiny) jeans fit perfectly... and then they started to sag, and I realized that a size eight was a size too big.
This did not make sense. Size seven was too small! Size nine was baggy in weird places, if it fit at all! WHAT IS THIS?
And then I bought a size six, petite short (because, again, I'm about two inches away from being considered a "little person").
And they were tight, but relaxed with a little wear.
And I realized something. Since these jeans come in different lengths (short, long, and average) as well as "petite" and "regular", and since they fit me the right way, but junior sizes were strangely shaped and low-rise and too long for my tiny, tiny legs...
I was a woman. I have a woman's body. I am almost twenty years old, and I'm a woman. And it's not so bad.

-10:21 PM

I've been having such bizarre dreams lately. The one I had today was actually kind of fun. I remember a lot of fantasy elements though. And apparently my room has a beautiful, never-ending magical field in it with faries and trees and neat stuff. And Shoshannah came in through my window for no reason at all, and that was fun. Sometimes I forget that other people don't know what's in my dreams and I keep thinking they know they were there.

I'm happier now than I was a few months ago. There's no more of those horrible depressed feelings.

And now we know who Anna Nicole's babydaddy is, so, you know, all is at peace with the world.
Computer's still not fixed, but most of its files are backed up on a DVD, along with the old computer's.

Well, that's all. Remind me later to transcribe some stuff I wrote for the dead people story. I haven't given up on it, I just haven't been that inspired lately. Now I have to go take a shower and possibly do some stretches and sit-ups, because I'm starting not to fit into my fat pants, and that's a problem. But I discovered a treasure chest full of jeans I forgot I had that actually fit me, so I'm thrilled because lately I've only had one pair I've been wearing anytime humans had to see me.

Okay bye.

-4:43 PM