It Seems Like Years Since It's Been Clear

so long story short I set my microwave on fire last night and now the whole house stinks like burned electrical plastic

no one is hurt, not even the bird, because my one and only thought was RESCUE BIRD!111 I carried his cage into my room like immediately and then fell over in a puddle of useless.

My thought process was basically
1. realize there is problem
2. MUST RESCUE BIRD!!!
3. !!!
4. ???
5. !?!?!?
6. Wake up mother
7. cry
8. cry more
9. apologize
10. cry

then I laid down all my towels and tried to sleep in my bathroom, since my bedroom is relatively unsmoke-y and was where I'd stashed my bird, and I didn't want to go in there and stink up my mattress. I slept for maybe about 10 minutes.

So, now we have to figure out how to clean the house and we have to buy a new microwave. I've been feeling really useless and stupid lately, and now I feel 1000000% worse. I just made more expenses and work for everyone and almost killed my bird :(

I'm gonna try to nap on the couch and then see how I can help de-stink the house when my mother gets back from buying a microwave. Hopefully when we change the air filters everything will smell a lot better, since sticking my nose directly on the couch cushions and stuff seems to reveal that they don't really smell, but the air does. Seems like baking soda and white vinegar are the internet's main suggestions, so at least that's cheap enough. SIGH. The air conditioning is on and doing its job, as well as all the ceiling fans.

why am I so dangerously useless :(

So I went to another eye doctor today.

He actually found something wrong! I've always wondered why I always bumped into walls or found myself reaching out to touch things in front of me, like a blind person checking where they are, and of course when I was taking driving lessons my poor instructor was like "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S WRONG :( WHY CAN'T YOU LEARN :( WHY ARE YOU HITTING ALL THE CONES :(" And of course I have always been horrendous at sports.

The last doctor I went to brushed me off and said I should just practice more, and yes, he literally suggested I drive more. Because when you have an inability to judge distance properly, the way you should fix that is by getting in a several ton vehicle on the highway. I'm sure people driving at the same time I am would be just thrilled to drive with me. NO GO AHEAD, BUMPING INTO PEOPLE IS HOW YOU LEARN! what.

So bscly he did all kinds of weird tests involving my looking at things and weird little glass circles that I learned are called prisms and eventually I found out some of the muscles in my left eye (and in my right eye too but not as bad) are kind of lazy and derpy and bscly don't do what they're supposed to. My brain says GO HERE SO WE CAN SEE THIS WAY and they go OVER HURR? and my brain is like CLOSE ENOUGH and then I hit a mailbox. He even asked if I saw colors differently out of each eye! Which, of course, I do. Righty is my red eye and Lefty is the blue eye. I mean, it's pretty subtle, but still.

So I have to get new lenses WITH PRISMS for my glasses. Good news is I don't have to get like dorky frames or anything, I can continue using my own. PRISMS. Like magic eye fixy things. Apparently they can take up to 2 weeks to get used to. YAY BEING MOAR BLIND but only for awhile so it's okay and it's not like I go anywhere anyway.

If they don't work I'll have to have a year of twice a week, 3000 dollar vision therapy. Which is an hour away. NO THNX.

He also said that many people who don't want to bother with the therapy actually patch one eye to drive and drive one-eyed. SOMEDAY I MAY BE A BADASS DRIVING PIRATE. Oh my God, I would totally get a custom patch. Like I'd bedazzle it and shit, it would be so cash.

He said what it was called. I don't remember though :( And searching just brings me to webmd, who of course brings up both lupus and cancer. I DON'T HAVE EYE CANCER WEBMD.

Of course my prescription is horrendous. 20/375 in the left, 20/400 in the right. LEGALLY BLIND DERP HI SCOTT LET'S BE FRIENDS WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.

( RELATED NEWS )

ANYWAY THAT IS A LOT OF RAMBLING. SO BYE. -6:09 AM

So tired

why am I awake

I was awake for something on neopets and now it's over (WHY AM I SO OBSESSED WITH NEOPETS GAH)

nose hurts so much, where is my saline

OH HAI IT'S NOVEMBER HOLY SHIT HOW DID THAT HAPPEN 2009 WHAT IS WITH YOU

Is it just me or is 2009 flying so much faster than 2008??? I HATE TIME WHY DOES IT MOVE SO FAST

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 24 DAYS WHEEEEEE I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY SO MUCH


DNW TO BE 22 THOUGH

AT ALL

SWEET JESUS

TWENTY TWO

I HAVE ONLY JUST GOTTEN USED TO BEING 21

I KEEP SAYING 20 WHEN PEOPLE ASK HOW OLD I AM

WTF IS THIS

WHAT IS MY LIFE

Oh, I will be so tired and cranky tomorrow. I'm wearing cute clothes but I will be so cranky. And sick feeling. Still feel so sick :( Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

-2:08 AM