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All day today (well, yesterday, now) I shuddered involuntarily every time I looked at the date, or wrote it down (because I compulsively date everything I write on, and when I don't I look back at the paper all WHY DIDN'T I DATE THIS? WHEN WAS IT? WHEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN???) and now that it's over I feel a lot better. It's a good day for putting things in perspective, certainly. It's a good day for remembering people who have done amazing things for this country, because people of past wars feel so much like characters. The people who died in World War II? People from a movie. People who died on 9/11? So very, very real, at least to me, because it hasn't been romanticised and disputed and what have you yet. It still feels like a real, horrific historical event.
I'm also reminded of my grandfather's brother, who went off to war and never came back, whose wedding picture I have: his wedding cake had little American flags on toothpicks. I have another picture of him and his wife, and I have a bracelet I think he was wearing when he died (with his name and his wife's name on it).
I like to think of the things the people in this county are capable of on September 11th, instead of all the things that are wrong with this country. I like to remember that we had- and still have- amazing men and women who give up their lives for their country.
So I'm not going to think about panicking, or burning buildings, or fear, for the remainder of today. I want to think about heroes, both patriotic war heroes and ordinary heroes who give cats CPR.
/9-11 rambling
I'm also reminded of my grandfather's brother, who went off to war and never came back, whose wedding picture I have: his wedding cake had little American flags on toothpicks. I have another picture of him and his wife, and I have a bracelet I think he was wearing when he died (with his name and his wife's name on it).
I like to think of the things the people in this county are capable of on September 11th, instead of all the things that are wrong with this country. I like to remember that we had- and still have- amazing men and women who give up their lives for their country.
So I'm not going to think about panicking, or burning buildings, or fear, for the remainder of today. I want to think about heroes, both patriotic war heroes and ordinary heroes who give cats CPR.
/9-11 rambling
So, how's this for irony?
This morning, before I went to bed, I was looking for my old storyteller bible. I know I'm not religious, and I don't really believe the bible, but I wanted to read some of the stories again, because you have to admit, they're kind of funny. At least, they way they were written in this book for kids they were. Plus, my boyfriend wanted to see it, too.
So I was looking through a plastic tub of old papers for it, and I came across the front section of a newspaper among the old school papers.
Here's the irony. I was looking for a happy pleasant kids' bible, and I found this newspaper instead. What's so ironic about that? Well, I think the date on this particular edition of the St. Petersburg Times pretty much says it all:
Wednesday September 12, 2001.
The headline? "A NEW DAY OF INFAMY" printed in the largest text I have ever seen, period. The horrible picture of the second plane slamming into the second tower. A woman with a burned face. I don't know who that woman is, but I will never forget her, ever.
It happened six years ago, so it all feels like old memories, like a story. Part of me, most of me, looked over all of this with a great sense of familiarity. I know those pictures like I know my own face. The fireballs and the dust clouds are as burned into my consciousness as my own name, obviously. But a tiny part of me, the part that has since regained hope and felt peaceful and was almost kind of in denial, made me whisper involuntarily, "Oh my God!" Generally everything I say outloud is carefully thought about, I never usually have stuff slip out without thinking about it. But I sat there on the floor with this old newspaper in my hands, and "Oh my God" just came out, without conscious thought.
I didn't think I had, but I guess I forgot just how terrifying the whole ordeal was... and still should be. It was only six years ago. Only! Actually, more like five and a half years ago! How could I possibly have lulled myself into such a false sense of security?
I could go on and on about my memories of that day, but that's for another time. Right now I just want to think about why I reached in that plastic bin for a bible and came out with a handful of terror and destruction. If ever there was a time when something happened for a reason, that would have to be it. Maybe God's telling me that instead of focusing on silly stories from a zillion years ago, maybe I should be thinking about something more important. I don't really know.
-12:48 AM
This morning, before I went to bed, I was looking for my old storyteller bible. I know I'm not religious, and I don't really believe the bible, but I wanted to read some of the stories again, because you have to admit, they're kind of funny. At least, they way they were written in this book for kids they were. Plus, my boyfriend wanted to see it, too.
So I was looking through a plastic tub of old papers for it, and I came across the front section of a newspaper among the old school papers.
Here's the irony. I was looking for a happy pleasant kids' bible, and I found this newspaper instead. What's so ironic about that? Well, I think the date on this particular edition of the St. Petersburg Times pretty much says it all:
Wednesday September 12, 2001.
The headline? "A NEW DAY OF INFAMY" printed in the largest text I have ever seen, period. The horrible picture of the second plane slamming into the second tower. A woman with a burned face. I don't know who that woman is, but I will never forget her, ever.
It happened six years ago, so it all feels like old memories, like a story. Part of me, most of me, looked over all of this with a great sense of familiarity. I know those pictures like I know my own face. The fireballs and the dust clouds are as burned into my consciousness as my own name, obviously. But a tiny part of me, the part that has since regained hope and felt peaceful and was almost kind of in denial, made me whisper involuntarily, "Oh my God!" Generally everything I say outloud is carefully thought about, I never usually have stuff slip out without thinking about it. But I sat there on the floor with this old newspaper in my hands, and "Oh my God" just came out, without conscious thought.
I didn't think I had, but I guess I forgot just how terrifying the whole ordeal was... and still should be. It was only six years ago. Only! Actually, more like five and a half years ago! How could I possibly have lulled myself into such a false sense of security?
I could go on and on about my memories of that day, but that's for another time. Right now I just want to think about why I reached in that plastic bin for a bible and came out with a handful of terror and destruction. If ever there was a time when something happened for a reason, that would have to be it. Maybe God's telling me that instead of focusing on silly stories from a zillion years ago, maybe I should be thinking about something more important. I don't really know.
-12:48 AM
Okay, so I won at life a little today.
Sep. 11th, 2005 02:30 amWell, maybe not "won", maybe like, came in second. Or third.
Yes, I came in third at life today... meaning Saturday. Curse my late-night update habits.
My mother took me shopping today, and while shopping is not a hobby of mine, nor do I particularly look forward to it, it wasn't that bad.
I get to make my own bracelets now! Those of you who know me in real life know that I love, love, LOVE bracelets, and that even though I have a HUGE collection of them, I love getting new ones. But I obviously don't have the money for that- no job and no allowence. I don't WANT a job, nor do I expect my parents to fork over money for no good reason, so I'm kind of in a pickle as to what to do about my I-need-new-bracelets situation. But today I remembered how I had an idea for a good bracelet- all I'd need was the spool off of some ribbon I have. And there was also another spool which, after I broke the plastic part, yeilded a cardboard piece that was just the PERFECT size for a bracelet. The shirt I got on sale today came with TWO stickers, so I stuck them (with some tape) onto the cardboard piece, and then put a starburst wrapper in the space the stickers didn't cover. It looks cool, but the tape isn't sticking. Anyway, I still have the first spool I can use, and my mother will have tons for me to make bracelets with *W00000T* since she works for a children's clothing store and makes a lot of bows.
So there you go: I get to have life MY way- no money, yet lots of bracelets. <3333
On the bad side, today (well, since it's 2:43 AM it's today now) is September 11th, so moment of silence.
Plus I have a headache the size of freaking ALASKA, which is bigger than Texas.
-2:58 AM
Yes, I came in third at life today... meaning Saturday. Curse my late-night update habits.
My mother took me shopping today, and while shopping is not a hobby of mine, nor do I particularly look forward to it, it wasn't that bad.
I get to make my own bracelets now! Those of you who know me in real life know that I love, love, LOVE bracelets, and that even though I have a HUGE collection of them, I love getting new ones. But I obviously don't have the money for that- no job and no allowence. I don't WANT a job, nor do I expect my parents to fork over money for no good reason, so I'm kind of in a pickle as to what to do about my I-need-new-bracelets situation. But today I remembered how I had an idea for a good bracelet- all I'd need was the spool off of some ribbon I have. And there was also another spool which, after I broke the plastic part, yeilded a cardboard piece that was just the PERFECT size for a bracelet. The shirt I got on sale today came with TWO stickers, so I stuck them (with some tape) onto the cardboard piece, and then put a starburst wrapper in the space the stickers didn't cover. It looks cool, but the tape isn't sticking. Anyway, I still have the first spool I can use, and my mother will have tons for me to make bracelets with *W00000T* since she works for a children's clothing store and makes a lot of bows.
So there you go: I get to have life MY way- no money, yet lots of bracelets. <3333
On the bad side, today (well, since it's 2:43 AM it's today now) is September 11th, so moment of silence.
Plus I have a headache the size of freaking ALASKA, which is bigger than Texas.
-2:58 AM
