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Well, today I bit the bullet and called my doctor about the mammogram. They kept me on hold for so long I was sure they were trying to find their sweetest person to break the bad news to me. Then they came back and put me on hold again. WTF.

Then Irene (remember my angry capslock at Irene back during the thyroid episode? pretty sure this is the same Irene) came back and said "Yeah, the mammogram. Um.... yeaaaaaah."

I panicked, but remained quiet. Then she said, "Okay, yeah, everything's fine!"

This is exactly what she said last time. "Everything'sfine!" all squished together and high pitched.

Thanks for freaking me the hell out for nothing, Irene.

So, to recap: my right boob is perfectly healthy. I'm sure you're all thrilled. Of course, since lefty wasn't x-rayed, there's always that possibility that she's a ticking timebomb of horrible cancer, but, you know. I doubt that.

I feel great knowing I'm okay, though. I mean, I doubted there was anything wrong, and I knew that if there was anything it was probably nothing serious, but it's good to know that a doctor has seen whatever it is you see when you look at an x-rayed boob and found nothing worth mentioning.

Just thought I'd document.

-3:20 AM