Jul. 1st, 2014 03:02 am
ivyette: (Beatles)
Good evening, livejournal. I never update. I'm sorry. But I wanna tell you a story. A true story.

A harrowing tale of courage and bug spray )
I survived, but I'll never be the same.

ivyette: (Default)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

When I was a toddler I ate a waterbug. I don't remember this, but judging by the fact that I said "yucky mommy :(" I think we can come to the conclusion that it was not, in fact, any good.

-7:07 AM
ivyette: (Liv)
But I'm gonna work on that one, I swear. I have a whole scene written in my head I'm too lazy to rewrite in actual text.

I just walked into the house I live in, and walked in just in time to see a cockroach go scurrying into the pantry closet. I debated what to do: on one hand, pretty much all food in there will be gross and inedible now, but on the other... it's pretty packed full, and what if it touches me? Besides, it's 3 AM, I don't want to make noise. So while I'm debating I walk into the kitchen proper, and there's another, smaller roach hanging out on the floor near the garbage/sink. Lovely. So I wake up my mother, but both roaches escape (the sink one went under the dishwasher and the pantry one fell between some boxes and made a horrible falling noise). So she sprayed some Raid, but I guess that's all we can do. There was another roach a few weeks ago. My mother has to work on Mondays but my father doesn't, and my boyfriend comes over on Mondays, so we usually have a nice meal on Mondays. So I heated up dinner and went to take a shower. When I got out of the shower, I went online. I think this is the same day the computer died, but I can't really remember, because that definitely happened on a Saturday but the roach and the computer are linked in my mind. Anyway, my mother walks in the garage door and goes to the sink, and then she's all "OH MY GOD." While I was happily computering and showering and whatever, a roach had come out of who knows where and was sitting next to the spoon I had used to stir the tomato sauce, licking it. And it just sat there, licking the spoon, while we flailed. Neither of us could figure out what to do: smack the roach with a shoe and the sauce-covered spoon makes tomato go everywhere. Spray bug spray and we're basically saying bye-bye to dinner. So we panicked for awhile, but then she got brave (bless her) and moved the spoon. Roachy ran away and she got him into the garage, where he lived for a few days before she killed him. Then yesterday I saw a teenaged roach (not one of the ittybittyteeny baby roaches, but not fully grown yet) in my bathroom, but it disappeared before I was finished flailing (I was planning on scooping it up into an empty conditioner bottle and then I dunno what I was gonna do, but I was gonna do something).
And recently I've found two ants in my room. Just two, on different days (it may have been the same ant... I couldn't kill the first one, it wouldn't squish for some reason.) So I've sprinkled cinnamon (ants like cinnamon, they like to take it back to the antplace, but once they eat it they can't digest it and then they die) and I'm on the lookout for more ants, and now more roaches.
So I guess it's officially Florida's bug season. I'm gonna finally get off my lazy ass (I swear!) and clean my room, which my mother describes, with no exaggeration, as one of those houses you see on TV that they have to drag crazy people out of because they're so filled with like newspapers or something. After that I guess we'll get some kind of exterminator and get all the bugs the hell out of our house. And we have such a clean house, too! :(

Well, anyway, I had wanted to write some kind of fiction, but now I'm all written-out. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

-<3 @ 3:33 AM

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