ivyette: (Beatles)
[personal profile] ivyette
I don't really have any explanation for why I did this. I spent so much time trying to see if I could and not enough time thinking about whether or not I should. I just... just click the cut, okay? Picture heavy. Phobia warning for grotesquely-featured humanoids and humanoids WITHOUT FACES. Oh God.

consider this your warning.

oh my God.


Everything went from wrong to right/it was love at first sight

STOP EATING HER. I guess she likes it?


Nothing says "love" like crawling inside your partner's nasal cavity. Just sticking your whole head up in there.


Now that we've all gone too deep together, I might as well introduce you to your hosts for our trip to past the Twilight Zone and into the very weirdest depths of the Uncanny Valley. The one in pink is named Honey Why, and her lovely wife is named Sweetie Why. They've moved into a 1x1 lot. They each have almost full points in niceness, playfulness, and outgoing-ness, and no points in activeness or cleanliness. ACR and free will are both on. Their chemistry is 3 bolts, and they're both family/grilled cheese. I'm playing them without my usual tons of cheating, so let's see what happens.

Spoiler alert this is one of the only times they bathed/peed on their own.

A back view of Honey.

oh God they're spawning

NOT YOU TOO ps your face never gets easier to look at it's like an unpleasant surprise EVERY SINGLE TIME.

God forbid you use the unoccupied shower FIVE FEET AWAY.

The worst part is she had just been on the toilet, which is RIGHT NEXT TO THE SHOWER

There's food on the counter, a toilet and shower, a tv and bookcase and chess board, and yet they never fulfill any of their needs. They just sit there yelling.

Don't look at me like that.

Good job.

They won't do anything fun on their own. They'd rather just whine.

No mere shower curtain can contain our Honey.

They both gave birth at the same time.

Baby's mere seconds old and you're already off to a great start!

They look so deceptively cute right now. They're both girls, and their names are Oney and Twoey. Because they are the first and second.

who's this stranger bitch (it's Tosha Go. You're right to scream, you'll be marrying into this one day.)

"this is a great spot for a baby."

"I'm such a good parent."

Heyyyyyyyy babe~ oh you're sleeping in your grilled cheese lol whatevs

Honey was worried about Sweetie, but not enough to stop eating before she got up. Now you know why I called her "Oh, Honey, why?"

She was about to pass out and starve to death. So of course, that's the best time to decide to go outside and play catch, then make out. And complain about the LEAST IMPORTANT OF YOUR NEEDS GO EAT SOMETHING FFS WHO CARES IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE

The babies were both filthy and screaming. I have Pescado's baby eyeball thing, so they should be rushing upstairs to change them. But they're downstairs woohooing.

I put a bathtub upstairs in the hopes that a nicer facility would encourage them to use it. Instead, she waited until she stunk, then went upstairs and whined about the environment. Maybe try cleaning up those puddles?

or just jump into the filth I mean it's whatever

They finally remembered they had kids! Incidentally, the literal second the babies were born, Sweetie rolled wants to talk to each of them about grilled cheese. They are babies, Sweetie.

Why is Komei Tellerman wandering by at 9:20 at night??

I'll never get over that nose

She brought their leftovers from the counter next to the downstairs refrigerator to the identical third floor refrigerator in the babies' room. K cool.

Her floating eyeballs catch me off guard every time

This espresso machine was a mistake. Instead of gaining energy and having fun juggling the cups, they just have to pee more (and of course DON'T GO TO THE BATHROOM).

Babies got back! How they got fat I'll never know, since they never feed themselves.


oh God I'm not ready to see what they turn into






I can't I give up I'm leaving

Date: 2015-03-07 06:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alex-parker.livejournal.com
This post is amazing!

Date: 2015-03-10 02:13 am (UTC)
ivybgreenflower: The Beatles (late period), surrounded by green plants and red flowers (Beatles)
From: [personal profile] ivybgreenflower
hehe, thank you! A true scientist shares her experimental findings with her peers.

Date: 2015-03-16 04:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frickkonastick.livejournal.com
i truly do not understand. but i enjoyed it nonetheless.

Date: 2015-03-16 04:24 am (UTC)
ivybgreenflower: The Beatles (late period), surrounded by green plants and red flowers (Beatles)
From: [personal profile] ivybgreenflower
I'm glad I brought you on that journey with me!

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